The Millers Go Fishing
(This is an extract from the next book -- a novel -- by Shih-Li Kow
which will be released soon.)
At nine in the morning, the
Millers bustled about making their presence felt. They shouted their
good mornings and complimented Beevi on the greasy noodle breakfast.
The quality of Beevi’s cooking was capricious; I suspected it echoed
her mood, bland when she was bored, over-flavoured when stressed,
and near inedible when she was in a sulk. The cooking of a Beevi at
rest, in equilibrium, was a mystery.
The Millers told her that they were off to see the three lakes. I
had arranged for them to pay Ismet to take them out, and Mr Miller
wanted to fish. Mrs Miller said with an exaggerated sigh, “I will be
so bored, but he does like to fish.” I was the fourth person in this
fishing party. Too many weeks had gone by since I was last out on
the water and I looked forward to the trip. I was accustomed to
Ismet’s company, but I had to endure the other two.
We drove out to the jetty in the Millers’ rented Myvi. Mr
Miller wanted to drive and hunched into the driver’s seat with the
car fitting around him like an armoured matchbox. A large man like
him should have picked a bigger car. I imagined Peggy Miller at the
rent-a-car counter in the airport, standing beside her trolley bags,
saying, “Aw, honey. We gotta rent ourselves a little May-lay-sian
car. We gotta see for ourselves how bad it drives.” To be
fair, I hardly knew Mrs Miller, and certainly not well enough to be
foisting these assumptions on her. She was probably a perfectly nice
woman, but, well, I just did not like her face. As long as I did not
tell her that, we could keep up pretences of hospitality.
The further away from town we drove, the narrower the roads became,
until there was no curb and the scrub grew right up to the verge of
the tarmac. “Turn left there, after the signboard,” Ismet said and
pointed at a faded sign put up by the Ministry of Cultural
Diversity, Heritage and Tourism, exhorting eco-tourism. “Fourth Wife
Lake. Discover the Natural Wonders of Malaysia,” it said. Someone
had sprayed a black line of paint over ‘Wonders’ and written
‘Wankers’ over it. I found it mildly funny. It was not a common word
spoken in Lubok Sayong, let alone seen in writing.
We got off the road onto a path rutted by motorcycles that ran the
half kilometre to the lakes. This was edged by a wall of weed on
both sides, so tall that some feathered tips bent over to dust the
top of our car. Some had been flattened, perhaps by a car before us
that had to make way for another, and long broken blades lay injured
on the ground. We churned up old mud, and heard the occasional clod
of laterite thud against our undercarriage. Mrs Miller, seated with
me in the back, was uncomplaining and took the heat and bumps in
good spirit.
Mr Miller laughed and said, “Here we go. Parting the green sea.” He
slowed for Mrs Miller to take a picture.
We saw the hill first. The cliff rose up ahead, a monolithic, chalky
limestone mass with dense dark trees. Then the lakes came into
sight, blackish green and unreflective despite the stillness of the
water. Where you would have expected a mirror, reflecting a dilute
blue sky with cobweb clouds floating on its surface, there was none.
Fourth Wife Lake swallowed all reflections and offered no such
prettiness. There was a slight murmur of rain, but the sun took over
and the rain clouds held back their incontinence, obedient before
the daylight and the patron saint of anglers. If there was any
threat of rain, I sensed it in the fullness of the lake rather than
the sky.
When we reached the jetty, we saw a few motorcycles parked
haphazardly on the grass like grazing animals. Our hired craft, a
tourist boat that took visitors on a loop of the lake, was waiting.
For ten ringgit, one put on a grimy life-vest, sat on one of the
eight plastic seats that collected water to wet unsuspecting
bottoms, and got up close below the limestone crags to see the dark,
yawning maws of the caves. An outcrop with a lone bush jutting out
from the cliff wall had become something to point at, and say,
“There’s where the princess jumped,” a nice highlight to the story.
With few tourists, the boat was hardly used. Mrs Miller seemed to
know what she had to do. She took a towel out of her bag and dried
her seat. Then, she applied mosquito repellent on her arms. Husband
and wife both slipped on the life-vests hanging next to their seats.
Ismet gunned the engine and took the boat on a big showy curve. A
crescent wave fanned out behind us. The men fishing on the banks
waved and forgave the noise we were making. Mrs Miller waved back,
smiling. We made a sweep near the limestone for the Millers to take
photographs. I was in no mood to do the tour-guide babble, so I kept
my mouth shut, and pretended to inspect my rods and buckets. I did
not point at the outcrop, and I ignored Ismet when he looked at me.
His English was not good enough to narrate the whole story of the
princess and the cad, but I was not talking that day. If I talked,
those tourists would talk back, and I wanted to fish, not make
polite noises and play the simpering native.
I had a plastic tub of crickets and worms for bait. I also had some
chicken skin seasoned with fish food that I wanted to try out. It
was an idea I borrowed from Swamp People, those alligator hunters I
watched on Astro. We had a spare fishing rod for Mr Miller. Ismet
took the boat out to the middle of the lake, into the shade the
cliffs cast upon the water, and cut the engine. Mrs Miller pulled
out a book from her bag.
Mr Miller took up his position at the prow and shed his life-vest
that was making him sweat. I saw that his shirt was thoroughly wet,
the damp circles that started at his armpits becoming
indistinguishable from the rest of his shirt. I sat at the back with
a bucket and my bait. With a reverent anticipation of pleasure, I
switched off my mobile phone. In recent years,
telecommunications signals had improved so much that we could
receive calls out in the middle of the lake. Instead of air and sky
overhead and the purity of space beyond, we lived beneath a new
sheltering sky of invisible waves carrying conversations, packets of
data transfer and millions of pornographic downloads. It was an
unpleasant thought that reminded me of dying cells and cancers.
I waved my phone at Ismet. He said, “Already put my phone on silent,
bro.”
“Okay.”
I strung an earthworm with a tag of chicken skin and cast it, my
heartbeat slowing as I settled into the wait. I loved fishing for
the meditative stupor that came with the wait. There were not many
things for which I professed enduring love. Fishing was one of the
few, and it had become better now with time no longer a luxury. Much
like, or maybe even more life affirming, than a leisurely act of
copulation when there was no clock ticking.
The silence was bone deep and rich with solitary pleasure. There was
an occasional hoot of howler monkeys, a flutter of a bird in the
trees, a call that echoed off the cliff and the vibration of
insects, tremulous and unseen. The water was grey green, clear and
clean, but I could not see through the depths. It was like trying to
peer through tinted glass and seeing only shadows and reflections.
The boat bobbed gently and I lost sense of time. I sank into the
familiar motion and forgot Ismet, the woman flipping the pages of
her book, and the man in the front turning red in the sun.
No one spoke to me. I did not know if Ismet or Mr Miller caught
anything. I simply drifted. Occasionally I drew the line in, changed
the bait and cast it out again, gently, ever so gently with a short
swing of arm and a flick of wrist. There was a bank of lotuses in
bloom by the far side of the lake. The flowers were wide open, pink,
tall and extravagantly beautiful. No one was harvesting lotus roots;
they were unmolested.
I caught a toman and a small ikan hantu that I unhooked and threw
back into the water. I glanced over at Ismet. He squatted on a seat,
with his sleeves pulled up over his shoulders, typing text messages
on his mobile phone with two thumbs. His fishing rod was wedged
between the seats. Mrs Miller had her book face down, splayed on her
lap. Her wide-brimmed straw hat shielded her eyes as she dozed
peacefully.
“Holy shit,” Mr Miller said suddenly. His line went taut. He fought
and loosened, reeling in a fish. I watched him brace, shifting his
weight back, rocking the boat a little. His movements were smooth
and practiced.
The lake had yielded some big ones before, the biggest I had seen
being the toman hooked by Cikgu Teh in a fishing competition a few
years ago. He still carried a picture of it in his wallet. Mr Miller
reeled in one revolution and lifted the curving rod. The fish fought
under water, straining against the pull, but we could not see it
yet.
Mr Miller said, “It’s a monster, guys. Real big.”
Ismet stopped to watch. Mrs Miller took out her camera and started
taking photographs. Mr Miller put a foot up on the step at the
prow and leaned back.
“Honey …” Mrs Miller started. Before she could finish, he was in the
water with a shout. Ismet rushed forward, ready to dive in. We saw
Mr Miller surface, bobbing in the water, waving and grinning. His
glasses were still on his face. Ismet threw out the lifesaver and we
all started laughing, even Mrs Miller.
Mr Miller shouted from the water, “Sorry guys, I lost the line and
the fish. Isn’t this something to tell the folks back home?”
We laughed until we saw a moving ripple in the water, travelling
towards Mr Miller.
“Get out,” Ismet shouted.
Fear gripped me, hollowing my gut. Ismet leaned over and stretched
an arm out. “Quick, quick,” he shouted. Mr Miller swam with his head
above water. He was two strokes from the boat, a silly smile
splitting his face. I could not see what was below the ripple, but
it was fast, heading straight for the man like a homing missile. I
looked around for something, anything, to throw at the thing that
was coming. There was nothing at hand except Mrs Miller’s book and
shoes that she had slipped off her feet.
“Quick,” Ismet yelled. The fish reared, exposing a long snout on an
impossibly long body. “Get out! Hurry!”
Mrs Miller screamed, her finger still on the camera shutter-release
button. Mr Miller waved at her with one arm, still grinning. A blank
look on his face replaced his toothy smile when he was lifted out of
the water, elevated by the snout between his legs. I flung the book
at the fish, but I could not tell if I hit it at all. I threw the
shoe and it bounced off its body. Mr Miller’s arms windmilled and he
fell backwards. The water roiled, the long body of the fish snaked a
curve that churned the water into froth and he went under.
The water closed over him, and he never surfaced again.
Peggy Miller screamed again, this time an awful, many-layered sound
that stayed with me for years. We watched the water from our rocking
boat, but there was nothing except a growing stillness as the water
calmed itself. The red lifesaver floated, marking the spot he went
under like a tombstone. I heard my heart pounding in my ears and
later, its slowing brought a sense of shame. I had been afraid, but
the fear had been selfish, a fear for me, of the boat being
overturned and my body joining Mr Miller’s, and my fate tied to his
with the creature in the water. I had reacted out of
self-preservation; I had no recollection of any intention to save Mr
Miller. I wanted only to stop the monster from getting close to me.
My relief at being in the boat, unharmed, was tainted by the
discomfort of guilt. I could have jumped in to save him from the
fish, but I did not.
Something like rain fell. Rain that seemed to rise from the lake to
water the sky.
Mrs Miller remained sedated for two days. My condolences and offer
for assistance fell on drugged ears. She asked to move out of the
Big House. The old furniture, she said, held death in them. She
moved into one of the rooms above Hemingway’s and her daughter flew
in to take her home.
ASP Sevaraja, who had a well-trained nose for gossip, as a
sommelier’s for wine, told us that Mr Miller had had three wives
before Peggy. The legend of Fourth Wife Lake gained a new life. Any
man who had married four times and who dared brave the water would
test the hatred of the lady of the lake; that, after Mr Miller, she
had developed an appetite for male flesh. The Chinese princess had
become a dragon fish.
“But no worries for you, Auyong. Not yet one-time married, eh?” ASP
Sevaraja kidded.
“Everyone’s going to stop fishing for a few months. There is human
flesh in the ecosystem. Are the navy divers going in?” I didn’t tell
him that I doubted I could ever go back on the lake.
“No one is going in. We’ll try to dredge the bottom, but it might be
too deep.” He showed me the pictures from Peggy Miller’s camera. Tim
Miller had a look of astonishment on his face, as if some prankster
had poured ice water on him. The serpentine fish was a silvery grey.
ASP Sevaraja said, “We sent the pictures to the wildlife department
to identify the species. They think it’s an imported fish.”
“Are you going to try to catch it?” I asked.
“What for? Let it become famous like the Loch Ness Monster. We
always like to be famous for stupid things, what? Anyway,” said ASP
Sevaraja, “I have enough to do, catching two-legged monsters.”
I didn’t tell him the fish had a face I knew. It knew me, too. I saw
it looking at me when I threw the book at it. It was the fish that
Beevi had released during the floods two years ago. I didn’t tell
Beevi, either. Somehow, an insensible balance told me that, to
shield her from guilt, was to atone for mine. I assumed she would
feel guilt, and my redemption was based on that assumption, but the
balance worked. All I needed was to keep it hanging on that fulcrum
for a year or two, maybe three, and it would fade from memory. It
always did.